Abandoning poker to deal with a card

I thought life was taking an interesting turn the other night. There I was, happily playing poker with the card school and a text came into my phone. 'Hi Eamon. John here. Sorry you can't make the quiz. Can you think of anyone else?' So with the exhortations of my buddies, I responded, explained that I wasn't Eamon but made my availability known (for the quiz, that is).

Anyway, after about 20 texts going back and forth, I established that he was in his thirties, single, didn't drink or smoke and liked sport. OK, so the only thing we had in common so far was the sport bit.

He queried my age on numerous occasions, but I managed to evade that one quite deftly": things like 'I'd give you a few years', and he'd come back with 'what do you mean by a few?' and I'd retort with 'who's counting' until he gave up and wanted to know if I into toyboys. 'I expect toyboys to be into me,' I said. He managed to sidestep some of my questions.

Anyway, we finally mutually decided we had nothing in common and given that he was from a rural area in the west and I was only doing the eejit anyway, that seemed a good thing. He texted, 'It's like the song, you're an up-town lady and I'm a down-beat man.' Anyway the phone rang the following morning and dearest Jesus there he was at the other end, just wanting to hear my voice, he said (and obviously trying to ascertain my age from my voice). I think the fact that I had three children finally put him off. The darlings. Sometimes they're saviours without knowing it.

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