Field Trips: Losing my grip one pull at a time at dreaded slots

There s a Far Side cartoon showing a man in Hell nursing a cold cup of coffee with the caption, They thought of everything.

If I ever find myself in the punishing inferno, I m pretty sure it will have slot machines.

I know I m supposed to value casinos because they enhance the livelihoods of whole reservations of native people whose traditional ways of life got taken away.

I do try. It s just that I can t get past all the disorienting lights.

So when the publisher of my newspaper invited me to blow his money in a gambling hall following an office party in a mellower casino side room, I experienced an inward flinch.

The hall, which I d already tried to navigate with the success of an ant in a turning kaleidoscope, was all flashing lights.

After a warm-up round of triple-scoop poker, or something like that, we made our way to the dreaded slots.

I watched closely as a patron gave a few spins.

As far as I could tell, the game went like this: Push the left button for Take my wages through a slow and painful process, and choose the one on the right for Just kill me now.

I looked for a button that read, No gain, no pain, but apparently that wasn t an option.

Oh well, I thought. What s a dollar? It wasn t like it belonged to me.

I chose the slow death.

Small fruits and unidentifiable objects spun on our screen. Sometimes, I caught sight of a cherry.

I wondered if it would bring good fortune.

Only if it landed on a line, the publisher s daughter said.

I liked learning about the rules of slot machines so much that I hardly noticed my boss s dollars slipping away. I might have stayed thusly engaged had not a change of course jerked my attention back to money matters. Out of nowhere, the fates shone on me. A windfall appeared in the bank account.

Suddenly, a novel idea occurred to me: Maybe I could clean up.

Gearing up for another spin, I pulled my gaze from the puzzle of moving fruits and stared soundly at the part of this slot machine that got to the point the money gauge.

Big money, I pled.

The wheel spun, and the account s bottom line diminished. Twice.

I felt each disappearing dollar as a drain on my own life force.

My wild optimism turned to mush. Who needs it, I thought. There s enough hope dashing in day-to-day life.

Gently, I turned my attention back to engaging fruit and started to let go. To call it a loss. Serenity now. Then, yank! Big money! The adrenaline dump of another chance.

I may not know much about commerce, but I do know you re not supposed to pay people to give you manic depression.

At the $10 mark when the bank account hit a 50-percent loss I handed the controls over to my publisher.

I would not be responsible for his total loss.

He seemed nonplussed.

I went to the kiddy slots to gamble away a dollar, one penny at a time.

My publisher and his daughter continued to case the joint and left with an extra $20.

I ll blame it on flashing lights.

To further in the provincial authorities set off national fitness craze, active life style organs, and promote physical and mental health of the cadres and workers, according to the annual work arrangements and the leadership of the provincial party committee agreed that the provincial authorities Commission, provincial authorities and provincial organs of trade unions in agreement August 2007 16-18, held in 2007 in Jiangsu Province National Fitness provincial organs of the poker games

All party organizations relations Work Committee under the provincial party committee or provincial organs attached to relations between the trade union organizations of the provincial organs, trade unions units can be ministries, commissions, Office, the Office of the Council for participating units are welcome to join the competition.