From WAGS to bitches: Why being the wife of a millionaire soccer

As the former editor of Company magazine, Claire Challis was used to mixing in glamorous circles.

After striking up a friendship at a party with a high-profile WAG, Claire and the pseudonymous Fabulous teamed up to write a novel set in the outrageous world of football.

Here, they give the definitive girls survival guide to being a successful WAG...

As the football season ends and most WAGs jet off on a five-star holiday with their handsome footballer carrying their Louis Vuitton luggage, it s easy to sigh with envy - especially as this is also the time they ll inevitably get some new jewellery and a car.

No wonder, then, that many people think snagging a footballer is a smart career move - a short-cut to fame, glamour and hard cash.

But what wannabe WAGs don t realise is that there s a whole lot more to it than champagne and shopping - and when you re living with a soccer star, your life is anything but normal.

As the ex-WAG of a Premiership player, I should know - and my advice to other women is be careful what you wish for.

Take one girls night out.

The players from our team had planned a big, all-male bonding session at a secret location, so the wives and girlfriends decided to go out together for a drink at our favourite bar.

We were wearing typical WAG uniforms - flirty Chloe dresses or skin-tight D G trousers and Gucci tops.

Every one of us had immaculate, poker-straight hair, strappy Gina heels and Dior Addict lip gloss.

The air crackled with nervous anticipation - or it could have been the sheer mass of hair extensions. Either way, it was electric.

Some were apprehensive - footballers can be really possessive and it had taken a lot of persuasion before some of the girls were allowed out.

Others were uncomfortable at being forced out of their little cliques to bond with women they were more used to competing with.

But after a few glasses of Laurent Perrier Ros , the mood turned giggly and light-hearted.

But it wasn t long before the atmosphere took a mighty dip. An unwitting barman showed us a tatty invitation to a party that night - a party with the boys from our team at a lapdancing club.

The invitation had been sent to all the local modelling and escort agencies.

And that wasn t the worst bit. Printed in neon was: Dress code: sexy. NO WIVES OR GIRLFRIENDS ALLOWED.

We lost it. After a round of B52s and flaming sambucas, we headed en masse for the lapdancing club.

In a tidal wave of Gucci, we charged into a scene that would make your stomach turn.

Many of the footballers - single or otherwise - were grinding with halfnaked girls and others were leering drunkenly at pole-dancers.

One guy emerged from the bathroom-with two women and another was definitely breaking the no touching rules with a lapdancer.

I located my other half - drunk and sheepish, but an apparent observer rather than participant to this sorry scene.

The truth is, I m not sure I would have wanted to know if he had been up to no good.

Soon drunken footballers and hysterical WAGs were involved in screaming matches and one couple even aimed a few blows at each other.

Yet a few days later this same girl was showing off a new Van Cleef Arpels diamond ring - a present from her errant partner.

Oh, you know what we re like, babe, she purred. We re at each other s throats one minute and then all lovey-dovey the next.

Look, she said, flashing her new rock around, you can see how much he loves me!

And therein lies the first rule of being a WAG: life is a pay-off.

If you can cope with the job description, which includes sometimes turning a blind eye, the returns are good.

But there s more to the terms and conditions than being perfectly groomed at all times. And it s the small print - the stuff that wannabe WAGs rarely pay attention to - that will end up costing them dear.

In my experience, there are two main types of footballers wife - the accidental WAG and the career WAG. Accidental WAGs, like me, Coleen McLoughlin and Melanie Slade (Theo Walcott s girlfriend) are few and far between. We are girls who grew up with our talented childhood sweetheart, or met them by chance without realising who they were.

On the career WAG front there are serial football daters such as Danielle Lloyd and Gemma Atkinson.

And there is another group who feign ignorance of their prey s identity, despite targeting them for months in clubs and bars such as London s Embassy or Panacea in Manchester.

But fuelling a footballer s ego by pretending they like him for himself rather than his lifestyle is the first of many daily platitudes they ll have to use to keep him happy - and keep their job.

They ll have to get used to trotting out You re brilliant, babe , whenever his brow starts to furrow.

For most that would seem a small price to pay for a life of luxury.

So during my time as a WAG, how did I fill my long, work-free days?

By having expensive spa treatments or walking into Chloe with my black Amex knowing I could have anything I wanted ( the number of times I hit Bond Street boutiques and purchased everything that fitted, just in case another WAG got in before me).

In return for all this, WAGs are expected to be wife, girlfriend and mother all rolled into one, relied on by clubs to keep players on the straight and narrow.

They have only fellow WAGs for moral support, such as it is. Because for every friendly face who ll tell you what area of town to live in and where to get your designer discounts, there are countless others bitching about you behind your back.

These are the girls who are the most insecure, who dread having to go back to their working-class roots, and so they try to expand their influence in any way they can.

They ll wheedle their way in with everyone, climbing up the WAG hierarchy and doing whatever it takes to get on.

One girl turned from being teetotal into a champagne-swigging coke-head just to get in with an influential, party-mad WAG.

Once they ve moved up the ladder, these girls will usurp those who ve helped them get there by lying, bitching and plotting.

I m not stirring but, for your own sake, I just thought I d mention ... is a well-worn WAG phrase.

Of course, a superficial glance at the inter-WAG relations in the players lounge would give none of this away.

But the air kisses on match days thinly disguise the never-ending competition between wives and girlfriends - the glances to check out what everyone else is wearing or how they managed to get their hands on the latest It bag first.

Only when someone new or the other team s WAGs enter the lounge will we unite and stare them down.

But what few people realise is that occasions such as this are some of the few times a WAG is able to put herself first.

Yes, of course their lives are spent pampering, preening and shopping. But, ultimately, they ll never be a footballer s number one priority.

Even serious matters concerning family, friends and health must take second place to football.

They ll get dressed up for a night out, and then sit there for hours waiting for their partner to come back from one drink with the boys.

Instead of their hearts lifting when he calls to say love you , they sink as they realise that s the last they will hear from him for the rest of the night.

It s no wonder at least one WAG I know has sought extracurricular attention from her personal trainer.

When a WAG and her footballer do manage to go out as a couple, she ll have to deal with extraordinary about-turns.

One minute she will be wearing a designer frock as her other half showboats his way through a gala dinner, the next she ll be at home serving him milk and cookies as he worries over how his fame compares to the other guests.

Whether a footballer is struggling to find form or just feeling paranoid, the WAGs are the ones who will bear the brunt.

In my house, the mood swings were a form of mental abuse. In the end, the disadvantages outweighed the material benefits and I chose to leave.

Injuries are also terrible - only a WAG will understand how grim the weeks and months are going to be as her partner tries to regain his fitness.

You d think it would be fun for me and the kids being able to spend some quality time with him, moaned one WAG to me.

But it s been murder. We re having to tiptoe around all morning so we don t wake him up and then we can t draw breath without him snapping at us.

Depression is not unusual: I spent days trying to persuade my other half to get up and go to training.

I even had to ring the club and lie, like I was excusing a child from school, only for him to sit in bed all day, morosely watching replays of himself.

And then there s the in-built arrogance that years of conditioning gives every footballer.

One WAG nearly had her house repossessed when it turned out her boyfriend, who earns thousands of pounds a week, decided he d pay the electricity bill when he wanted to.

Being brought up to be number one can make relationships difficult. Woe betide anything that threatens a footballer s place as the most important person at home.

My other half was even jealous of my parents - on the few occasions they came to visit, he would call me into a different room to do urgent jobs to get me away from them.

I know women who even had to forgo children because their footballing other half demanded to be centre of their world.

But the obvious advantages blind many would-be WAGs to the pitfalls - during the honeymoon period, few pay heed to their long-term emotional or financial security.

By the time they are approaching their sell-by date, it s too late.

The more luxurious their lives become, the more distanced they become from friends and family.

It s difficult, isn t it, babe, a WAG whose husband had rehoused all his family in style used to tell me. I d upgrade my folks if I could.

It freaks him out to visit them in their council house, so we hardly ever see them.

The fact that selling one of her designer watches would buy her parents a new house never occurred to her.

But as a WAG s aspirations grow, so will the player s, and it may not be long before he hankers after more material things - and a new woman.

For wherever he goes, there will be younger, slimmer, flirtier candidates queuing up to take his WAG s place.

Ultimately, a WAG is always waiting to be replaced by a newer model.

And when that happens, ex-WAGs often realise how empty and soulless their lives have really been.

They find themselves locked out of their luxury homes with just the clothes they re standing in and a stack of cancelled credit cards.

Because being a WAG is the only occupation where the more experience you have, the less desirable you are.

When you re made redundant, that s when the pay-offs end. And that s when you need them most.

The Beautiful Game, by Claire Challis and Fabulous, is published by Headline Review on May 29, priced 6.99. To order your copy at 6.99 with free p p call The Review Bookstore on 0845 606 4213.

Mathematicians Mading Ke-ru Scalfaro 15 years ago invented a kind of poker skills, it can be more easily removed in accordance with a licence other than all 10 of poker to explain. There are two ideas hand, is a Shuanong, another who was Shuanong. Shuanong Shuanong those who were admitted to a 1-10 between the secret number, such as X, and we have to be Shuanong those who watched Shuanong slowly from the licensing of a washed up in a one licence, the attention of the X What is the card.

When the card arrived in Article X, for example, it is Y, then it becomes Shuanong the new secret number, and then he was called attention to the future of the Y-then the licence, and continue to slowly Shuanong a Over a licence. When the successor of the Y card was Fanchu, it points such as Z, also was Shuanong into the new secret number, and then be asked to pay attention to follow-up of the Z card, after which another new The secret number, and so on.

Thus, if those were the first admission Shuanong 7 as the number of his secret, he will be with Shuanong slowly turned to licensing to the attention of the seven licences. If the first seven licences to five, then his new secret number becomes five, then he will take note of the first five licences. If after the first five licences is 10, 10 will become his new secret number, then he will pay attention to the first 10 licences in order to determine his new number. As they gradually approaching this pair of licensing the last one, who Fanchu Shuanong a card and said, This is the secret of your current number, and he almost always correct. This pair has not been marked or licensing-order, there is no collusion of his associates, no gestures, no careful observation Shuanong who was watching over licensing response. Shuanong is how to complete the artistry of the performances?

The answer is smart. Shuanong in at the beginning of Shuanong, first take a few of his own secret. He then followed him to be Shuanong the same instructions. 3, as if he admitted his secret number, then he would take the attention of the three licensing and record the points, for example, 9, which becomes his new secret number. He then again after watching the first nine licensing, for example, 4, it becomes his new secret number.

Although Shuanong to the original number of secret Shuanong to be the same as the original secret to only one-tenth, but it is reasonable to assume that, and can prove that, soon or later, they will be the secret of coincidence; That is, if Election of two more or less random 1-10 secret between the series, or soon after, they are a result of the same opportunities because of a few. In particular, starting from this point, with the secret number will be constant, because Shuanong and Shuanong who were both using the same number from the old produce a few new rules. As a result, Shuanong to do all that is closer to a showdown in the final, waiting for his response Fanchu the last few secrets of the card, and believe that this point is probably the secret was Shuanong few.

Pleasure in understanding this point aside, may wish to ask, such know-how is there any similar real-world It should be noted that this know-how in more than one who was Shuanong or no Shuanong (as long as there is a person in a manner over a licensing) are also effective. So many people together, for each person he or she started a secret number, and follow the above-mentioned procedures from one of the few old produced a new number; everyone eventually will have the same number of secret, since the pace of city Consistent.

If we allow people to use more sophisticated means to identify new secret number, which would follow from the front of a few instead of the previous few few, and we turned the card into a one another like Lottery or stock market value, as the successive events, then we will see in the large-scale natural development of the potential of acting in unison. For example, many investors use the same computer software (that is, use the same rules of the sale), it is conceivable that a large-scale acts of acting in unison diluted variant are likely to form, regardless of location where the initial investors.

I can make the following religious scams. Consider a fascinating holy books, which do not involve the beginning of the book from which a selected word, the following procedures are always led to the same supreme, Shenhuqishen word: Do you like the first, no matter which of the word; few of which there are several Letters, for example, this number is X; forward a few X-word reach another word; again a few of its few letters, such as this is the number Y; forward to a few Y-word to another word; again a few number of Which several letters, for example, this number is Z; repeated this process until achieve supremacy, Shenhuqishen word. It is not difficult to imagine, from the holy books starting at the beginning of a word a word to feverishly to verify this procedure, will be more and more convinced that the gods of this phenomenon will be the only explanation.

If this generation than in the rules used in the example of the simple rules more complicated, its effect will be more mysterious.

A number of former (Once upon a number) , Shanghai Science and Technology Publishing House